So some UFC fighter told everyone to read Mises’ Six Lessons and that was cool, but who’s really going to do it? Too long, too boring, needs some explosions or at least a few swear words. So here we fucking go, Mises’ Six Lessons with swear words…
Lesson One: Capitalism Rules
How the hell is anyone going to buy all the useless crap they desire without huge fucking factories pumping said crap out? They’re not. Oh sure, sometimes people buy useful stuff like food, or clothes, or a bitching Camaro but without free-markets and mass-production all that stuff is harder to get too. Nothing has lifted more common slobs out of poverty than capitalism. Nothing comes close.
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Lesson Two: Socialism Sucks
That shit ain’t gonna work bro. If prices are not set by free-market competition then no one can really know what anything is actually worth. And that lack of “price-information” means a lot of idiotic decisions will be made resulting in shortages and misery. And there can be no such thing as “common” ownership of the means of production because some asshole eventually gets control and its usually the same asshole selling this whole stupid idea.
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Lesson Three: Government is Retarded
Even with the best of intentions government can’t help but fuck things up. Let’s say the govt puts a limit on the price of eggs, you know, to help people afford eggs. What happens next? A bunch of chickens get fired because the farmer can’t afford to pay them. Then the government comes up with a plan to combat chicken unemployment by giving them free college tuition. But no one wants to hire them so the government hires a PR firm to come up with an anti-chicken-bigotry program and on and on it goes… Government is retarded.
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Lesson Four: Inflation is for Losers
Whenever in doubt, governments love to borrow or print money out of nowhere. It’s no skin off their nose. For all their friends who get the money first its practically like stealing. It’s the everyday people way down the chain who end up paying for it in higher prices. Whenever government inflates the currency it creates winners and losers. Mostly losers.
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Lesson Five: Investment
Countries don’t get rich because they have a huge brains, or bountiful resources, or advanced technology. North Koreans are plenty smart, Venezuela has huge oil reserves, and Gaza has amateur aeronautical engineers, but all those places are shit-holes. The thing that DOES make countries wealthy is investment. The act of putting savings to work in some productive way.
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Lesson Six: Politics
The maggots and lowlifes inevitably drawn into politics deal in favours to special interest groups. Regulations, taxes, subsidies are almost always passed at the behest of someone who means to profit from them. Corporations, unions, foreign lobbyists, communists, etc. These enemies of your economic freedom and prosperity can all be defeated at once by minimizing the root of the problem: government power.
A failure to do so results in ruin.
There you go, now you’re a fucking expert on Austrian School Economics, so subscribe or I’ll tap you out, don't make me do it…